onlyapparate: (I worry about you sometimes)
[personal profile] onlyapparate
Well... It's been a hard couple days, but I've been managing. Keeping myself busy... between Raphael and my DADA preparations, I'm fully aware that I'm trying to distract myself from the problem here. [ Here there's a nervous laugh. ] I can't very well hide, can I? That's not who I am anymore so...

Kallen? Could I speak to you? In person, preferably. I'm in my office, but I can go to you if that would be more comfortable.

[ pause. pause. still recording here, Tobi. ]

Oh! And... Professor Bainbridge, I got the supplies you ordered. Would you like me to take them down later?

private;

Date: 2010-07-17 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
There's nothing to talk about.

private;

Date: 2010-07-17 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
There is nothing together about this.

private;

Date: 2010-07-17 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
...

Deal with it alone? I've always done that. I don't need you help me deal with a problem... especially one that doesn't exist.

private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
Whatever you have left to say, fine. I'll agree to meet with you in person.

Tread carefully with your words.


[Give her some time.... more time than usual. She does take a quick shower (because she hadn't taken one since Castiel's been hanging around, so paranoid) and heads out. She's still not feeling like herself. But she makes it to the school and to his office. She's still nice enough to knock on the door.]

private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[She lets herself in and closes the door behind her. Her eyes look tired and slightly confused from the lack of sleep. But she's hiding it as well that she can. Her glances are unwavering and sharp.]

As you were saying.

private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
Standing is fine and I don't need anything, thank you.

I will tell you what I think once you're done.

private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
Are you implying that all of this is my fault? I believe I have ever right to be upset. [She shifts her footing.]

I told you, there's nothing to talk about, nothing to do together. What you did hurt me, and despite it all, you did it. So that's why I left. I left leave before you decided to hurt me again. Unlike my mother, I won't stay in a position where I will constantly hurt by someone who I cared for.[She means leave the scene, not leave ie. break up.]

private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
We are not at fault for something you did. You were wrong and I don't see why you insist on putting the blame on me. After what happened, Thobari, I don't know what you'll do. I don't plan to stick around to find out to be hurt more in the end.

If you knew, then why did you do it? I would have never dared to do such a thing.

You care-- [a scoff] about me? Us? Don't make me laugh. If you cared, you wouldn't have done what you did. Relationships aren't one-way streets, yes, but they shouldn't contain liars either. [Now she's showing her anger.]

You made me believe in you... that you were different. That you weren't going to treat me like every other male has. So what? Is all of this a lie now? Did you do this to try and get over on me? I'm not... just going to be some easy lay for you. I cared about you, believe I could have come to fall in love with you. I can't now.

I can't be with a liar, nonetheless fall in love with one.

1/??? private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[It's that grave look that sets Kallen more on edge. He was mad. Thobari was mad. She did just call him a liar didn't she? Not once, but twice. And did-- did he just say he loves her? What? She can't-- She didn't want to find out these thing about him like this. Some of these things she knew but--

Was she wrong?

But she couldn't be? She was never wrong. Her parents and teachers praised her. They never scolded her. Kallen didn't mind that he was emotional. That wasn't the issue. She was afraid of being hurt, of having her independence taken from her. He told her it was okay to lean on him. The more she did that, the more she lost of it.]

2/??? private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[It's then she thinks about this situation as rationally as her mentality will allow at the moment.

No, Thobari wasn't her father. She knew this. But she couldn't get the comparison out of her head. Kallen didn't want Thobari to leave her for someone else.

"I'll leave him before he leaves me."

She could keep her pride and gain back her independence. But ever since they "broke up" she was a slight wreck and the 'haunting' of Castiel didn't help. It hurt not to be with him. She wanted to trust him but there was something mentally blocking her.]

3/??? private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[She pushed him away because she didn't want to get hurt. How ugly. And even after all this, he loves her? No, that's not right. She didn't dare call him a liar again, but how could he love someone was ugly as her? No, this isn't right. Love? No, he couldn't.]

4/5 private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[This was falling apart. She was falling apart. No no no, she couldn't do that. This all made sense now and her pride made it so it didn't make sense. "He hurt you, he's just like her father." But if she had let go of her mentality, her pride, perhaps, she could see that she had fallen in love with him. But no, she couldn't have done that. Love? She had no idea what that was. But life hurt without him there, but she didn't want to be hurt by him.

Everything she stood for.... gone. And the one thing she didn't want most... was she didn't want to be like her mother. Her mother apologized when her father cheated on her. She did nothing wrong. Kallen didn't want to become her mother. This wasn't her fault!

Yes it was. For letting it spiral into this mess, that was Kallen's fault.]

5/5 private; in person

Date: 2010-07-17 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zealotringly.livejournal.com
[All the while, she said nothing. Thobari was probably waiting for her to say something wasn't he? She had cut off her gaze from him the minute his anger boiled over. Blue eyes stayed glued to the floor. Silently, she said... the one thing she didn't want to do in this situation.]

I'm sorry.

[Slowly, Kallen turned to leave and walked out the door, closing it behind her.]

private

Date: 2010-07-17 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] numbersnfigures.livejournal.com
... I take it that things are still not well..

same filter

Date: 2010-07-25 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bobthewizard.livejournal.com
Yes; thank you! That would be fine. Let me know when, and I'll open up the classroom.


[[Pretend this wasn't late? XD;;;;;~]]

same filter

Date: 2010-07-25 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bobthewizard.livejournal.com
Certainly; whenever is convenient. The new stock of inks will be in by then.


[[<3!~]]

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