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onlyapparate[ Thobari's room sounds awfully quiet (Anna is out). Except maybe for a tiny meowing sound in the background. Raphael has taken to consoling him by chewing on his fingers. Thobari doesn't even seem to care. ]
I... I don't understand. I tried, really I did, but...This is just like back then. There are no second chances; only the decisions we make and I... made the wrong one once again. I wasn't strong enough. I'll never be strong enough.
...She'll be happier without me. It's understandable, of course. I knew about it, and yet... I couldn't stop myself. I should have known that I'm still so weak... I can't save lives, I can't save relationships; I can't save anyone.
Times like these make me wonder why I keep trying so hard.
[[Okay, so this post is 100% unhackable to Kallen and everyone else, basically. For Yukimi, Spencer and Kate, it's like 40% hackable, so you might hear some stuff about him being weak and whatnot. For Maron, this is 90% hackable (everything but the strikes) and for Cas, yeah, it's 100%.]]
I... I don't understand. I tried, really I did, but...
...She'll be happier without me. It's understandable, of course. I knew about it, and yet... I couldn't stop myself. I should have known that I'm still so weak... I can't save lives, I can't save relationships; I can't save anyone.
Times like these make me wonder why I keep trying so hard.
[[Okay, so this post is 100% unhackable to Kallen and everyone else, basically. For Yukimi, Spencer and Kate, it's like 40% hackable, so you might hear some stuff about him being weak and whatnot. For Maron, this is 90% hackable (everything but the strikes) and for Cas, yeah, it's 100%.]]
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:23 am (UTC)[1/10000 (to be safe)]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:24 am (UTC)[2/?]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:24 am (UTC)[3/?]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:25 am (UTC)[4/6]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:25 am (UTC)[5/6]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:26 am (UTC)[6/6]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:26 am (UTC)[WHY IS THAT ACCEPTABLE TO SAY?]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:28 am (UTC)[ That was a nice try, Cas. You didn't make things worse at least. ]
[1/2]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:30 am (UTC)[2/2]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:34 am (UTC)It's a sore spot for Kallen and I knew that.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:36 am (UTC)[ choked up a bit. ] I know.
I was just hoping I'd already done all the growing I needed to already.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:38 am (UTC)It's... like I said, a personal thing for her...
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:42 am (UTC)[private to thobari] [don't even try to hack it. your wand will set on fire.]
You have... you have changed. The boy in the owlry who could do nothing and say less, that is not you. She cannot see that, nor should she, but she cannot taint the strength you possess.
Her disapproval should not reduce you to this.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:43 am (UTC)[ speaking of cat, he should probably bandage up is fingers and get him to stop nibbling on him. ]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:47 am (UTC)Maybe I can try and talk to Kallen, since she seems to think you're Kazuhiko.
[1/???]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 05:52 am (UTC)[DONE]
Date: 2010-07-12 05:53 am (UTC)But you're right. I shouldn't... I won't let this reduce me into that child again.